Songs without Words

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So I’m happily studying viruses in the library when all of a sudden these loud, resonating “squick schlick” sounds start emanating from across the room.  Yes, that was meant to be as disgusting as those onomatopoeias suggest.  So I think it’s someone getting too into a piece of gum or some bubble tea, but I stand up to see a couple busily making out just below the giant concrete atrium.  And for twenty grating minutes, they proceed to French kiss as if they wanted to asphyxiate each other.  The least they could do is just deal with their pent-up sexual tension by just copulating and getting it over with, but they just kiss and kiss and kiss.  SQUICK SCHLURP SQUEEEET.  And then they finally stop so that the guy can blow his nose like a vuvuzela several times.  I guess her massive slobber finally used its slimy flagella to reach his nose, causing allergic rhinitis.  Good grief.  Get a room!