aizilina

justin lo 7284

1: birth.

white

cage

white cage,

bright with

frigid loneliness,

a spiral of lights,

burning.

it

is

cold, i think.

i.

lots of things moving around

moons

?

it would say \moon\ but not to me

it is white but not the moon

the moon is white but not it

i am pale.

what would it say to me?

i am new

surrounded by reflection

i see a few strands – not white – it would say \moon\ but \gold\

not \silver\ but \

they are long.

would everything around me be moon

?

or to me be moon but not

to them

to them i can be moon

but not to me, i think.

to me like to a moon à \how. are. you. . . ?\ (in a manner of fear and awe and pride). \you. are. fi-na-lly a-wa-kk. e(?).

not to me à \she looks very healthy but unaccustomed to the environment. I suppose it will be a matter of time before she figures it all out. until then, I guess all WE can do is help her adjust and learn. I am sure that she will pick it up quite quickly. her eyes seem to be observing everything – this is a good sign.\

moon again à \you. are. born\

&&& ! i should like to speak. /who. is. born./ . . /?/

\you\

\ai – zi – li – na\

GOD.

11: first creation.

\aizilina, you need to get up now.\ ß one day and they speak much more quickly to me. maybe i learn quickly in their viewpoint.

/oh-kay./

room still so white, but i am used to it. wings too white; maybe i will take one of their snip twigs and color my wings gray. i do not like white.

they have something not white. they hold

it in their five finger spider-appendages and i think they call it a brown.

i can tell it is not a moon. it is like the walls. it looks brown but it is white.

\aizilina, WE need you to do something special to this little plant we have here, okay?\

/yes, professor./ ß by me.

\ [[rather annoyed]] \

/yes, Professor./ ß he is powerful.

\please make this plant green. just hold out your hand like this (demonstration included) and turn it clockwise. yes, yes, that’s it. just keep doing that.\

brown brown-brown-green brown-green-green green but

it is out of control

enormous green

they take it away.

no dinner.

i am lonely.

a long time after, moons return with smile.

\WE knew you would be so powerful.\

/where is the green?/

\WE had to put it away.\

/away where?/

\away somewhere.\

/i want to see it./

\you can not.\

i feel something

i raise my hand and turn it clockwise and the wall turns into a green like the other one.

/more greens until you give me back that green!!!/ ß shouted beyond moon despair of whitish gray.

lots of greens

\what the HELL is going on (?) stop it AIZILINA stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it.

another one now: \I knew it would be dangerous to make her

the first one: \shut up, WE can handle this.\

/the green, WHERE IS IT?/

\it’s not anywhere!!! go to bed and dream about your green. or just take this one.\

the other one seems to be FEARful so he says instead (as an option): \do you need to know?\ perhaps a bit more softly so i calm down and there are only fifteen greens.

in sorrow à /yes./

\WE threw it away.\

/get it back./

\it is dead.\

/what is dead./

\dead is away.\

/to who./

\to GOD.\

/who is he?/

\the CREATOR.\

/he made green?/

\you made the monstrous plant. HE made the WORLD.\

/do you like him?/

\yes.\

they go away. i am in white room with fifteen greens. i talk to greens.

/greens./

“Yes, Aizilina?”

/i want to leave./

“That is a good idea, but what about us?”

/why do you need me?/

“We need water. We are in the wall right now and we do not receive any water. We will soon become browns.”

/i will try to make water./

i raise my hand and turn clockwise but the white will not turn to water. the greens become green-green-brown.

i try again. i turn my hand clockwise and a drop of water comes out of the wall. one green takes it. the others turn green-brown-brown.

i try again. a trickle forms but the same green takes it. the others die. i have one green and fourteen browns.

/green./

“Yes, Aizilina?”

/what happened to the other greens?/

“They went away.”

/why did they go away?/

“Because you willed it.”

/and why did you live?/

“Because you willed it.”

/and could i make you go away?/

“If you will it.”

/and could i make them come back?/

“IF YOU WILL IT.”

III: second creation.

\Aizilina, what happened last night?\

Ashamed. /Fourteen greens went away./

\It’s okay.\

/Why would it be okay for the greens to go away?/

\Because they came from the wall, anyway.\

/But i talked to them last night. They did not sound like the white./

\You are learning a lot. WE believe strongly in your abilities. You are doing fine. Let us try something new, okay?\

/Well i cannot choose since i need dinner./

\Good, I see that you understand. [[proud]]. Here, let us see what you do with this.\

He puts a lot of yellow-brown on the ground. He calls it dust.

/Well, what do you want me to do with it?/

\Aren’t you inspired to do something with it? Oh well, let us start with something easier. Here. This is a rib.\

It is a curved stick, but I can smell a bit of the red. I suppose it must be similar to the green but not quite.

/I will ask the green for some help./ To green: /Green, what is this?/

Green is watered so he is big. “It is a rib. It comes from another type of not away called an animal. This one is a pig rib.”

/What is a pig?/

“It is a large and not-green not away.”

/Do they want me to make a pig?/

“I think that is what they are interested in. I can try to check and read their slices of big green if it would please you.”

/Yes, please. Thank you./

The green looks at the slices of big green.

“Yes, it says ‘Observation II-b: Creation of a Pig from a Rib.’”

/Thank you, Green./

i raise my hand to the rib and turn my hand clockwise, causing lots of ribs to come out. The pig is very complicated. i use a hundred ribs. But it has to be not green and i guess that it is not gray. i make it a new color.

the pig is away, though. i had hoped that the pig would not be away, but it is away and it is a lot of ribs that are a new color.

i can see that he is not very pleased. i try to make the pig not away but it does not work so i ask the green if it would mind giving the pig not away.

The green says that it would be okay if it pleased me and so i put the green on the pig and made a green pig. then i made it not green. it moved around, so i knew it was not away.

/What should I call you?/ ß to the not green green pig.

“You can call me – ”

\Adam. Call it Adam.\

/Why Adam?/

\Because it pleases me.\

Adam has a hundred ribs and a lot of not green green parts. Adam moves around like i move around. he seems a bit pleased but also confused.

IV: First Destruction.

The scientist walks in to my white room that still has Adam walking around in it. The room is very tall but it has a top. It is cylinder-like except at the top. The top is dome-like. A cylinder and a dome make a cage, usually.

Adam’s leaves flap as he walks around on his ribs. i feed Adam every day with water and a bit of white. He tells me my wings are very special. i tell them that they are white and he wonders why i don’t just turn them not white. i am ashamed at not considering it, but i know that the scientists would be displeased and i would not have any dinner. i do not know how to make the dinner yet, but i get better every day. i hide my not dinners inside Adam when the scientists come by so that they do not know what i am planning.

“Aizilina,” says the scientist.

/Yes?/ i ask, making sure the not dinner is in Adam. Adam flutters his leaves.

“WE know that you are very adept at creation. WE honestly have no idea what goes through your mind, but you are simply magnificent. There is one more thing you must learn before WE let you out,” says the scientist.

/Oh. i will learn it, then. i like dinner./

“Good. Here we have a small rat. Can you destroy it?”

/What do you mean by destroy?/

“Turn it to dust.”

/Oh that is easy. Just do not succeed at making water./

“No, I mean right now. Try raising your hand and turning it counter-clockwise.”

/i do not like this lesson. If i turn it to dust, it will go away./

“But you could just bring it back again after you did it. What is wrong with that?”

i think about it. Wrong is an interesting thing. If i made Adam go away and then brought him back, would that be wrong?

/Adam, what would happen if you went away and then came back?/

“I do not know. If it pleases you, you can see what happens.”

i make Adam go away by turning my hand counter-clockwise. i make Adam come back by turning my hand clockwise.

/Adam, what was that like?/

“I do not understand what you say.”

/Where is Adam?/

“He is away.”

/Who are you, then? i thought i made Adam go away and then come back./

“I can be Adam if you would like.”

Water comes from my eyes. I made Adam go away. I feel it again.

/Scientist, i do not want to make the rat go away./

“Then you will not have dinner,” he says.

/i do not care/ i say, not thinking about dinner at all but just about Adam.

i love Adam. The new Adam is not the old Adam. He says i am sad and angry. i decide that would be it.

V: The World.

“Aizilina,” says the scientist, “I’m sorry about yesterday. I understand that you were sad about Adam dying.”

/ i don’t think you understand, / i say.

He just stands there, hands clutching the clipboard.

“Aizilina, we are going to let you go outside today, but you need to wear some clothes.”

He gives me a long white dress.

/ i don’t like white, / i say. / white is a very away color. /

“But everyone expects you to wear a white dress. It will match your wings very nicely, and your pure, white skin, too,” he explains. “It would be very beautiful. Don’t you want to be beautiful?”

/ Why would i want to be beautiful? / i ask.

“Oh, I do not know,” he answers.

I put on the dress even though I don’t like it. It is a bit soft. The scientist leads me out of the white room into white hallways.

“Do not try to escape,” he says. “Otherwise, there will be no dinner and you will be punished.”

A lot of guards are around me. They hold large rods.

/ i want to go back to the white room and talk to New Adam. /

The scientist glares at me. “Do you really want to do that?”

I am curious, so I shake my head to say no, since that is how moons say no to each other.

At the end of the white hallway is another white hallway. At the end of that white hallway is another white hallway. At the end of that white hallway is a door to another white room.

This white room is very big and has a lot of chairs. My room only has a bed. There are many moons, but some of them are blue and some are red and some are green. I see that there are two types of moons. One looks like the scientists. The other type has a different shape and voice. I think the other type looks like me. I call them “Aizilins.” There are Moon-moons and Moon-aizilins in the chairs.

“Hello, everyone. This is Aizilina, the product of our careful experimentation. She has the powers of a deity.”

The moons do not seem to believe the scientist.

“Allow a demonstration. Aizilina, can you make a plant grow out of the floor?”

/ i don’t want to, / i say.

“Do you like dinner?”

i make a pig grow out of the ground because i do not like what the scientist says. All the moons seem surprised.

/ i made a pig. /

The scientist is ashamed. “I am sorry, I did not mean for that to happen.”

i notice that the pig is away.

/ the pig is away. i think i need to make a green and attach it. /

i make a green from a chair, and the Moon-moon that was in the chair screams.

/ i’m sorry, i had to make a green. /

The chair is away and i feel weak. i attach the green to the pig and make another Adam-type. i make its voice be like the Moon-aizilins. Then i faint.

VI: Room Decoration.

When i wake up, i am back in the room. i want to go out, so i try to open the door, but it does not work. i try to make the door go away, but that does not work, either. i go and lie on my bed. i notice that there are now two not-green-green-pigs in my room. one is New Adam because i recognize his voice. the other is the new one from the other room. i name the new one Chairground because it came from a chair and the ground.

“New Adam,” i ask, “What happened to me?”

“Aizilina, making things not away takes a lot of effort. You use your soul to make things not away. That is why you fainted. They carried you back here. They also gave you the blue dress you are wearing now because you had a dream and ripped up your white dress. Apparently, you didn’t like white very much,” said New Adam.

“Yes, white is the color of away. It is very painful because away reminds me of Old Adam. i love you, too, but i miss Old Adam.”

“I understand,” New Adam says. i believe him even though i did not believe the scientist when he said the same thing.

Today, i will change the color of the room. i concentrate because the room is very big and cannot be changed so easily. Carefully, i take away the white so that the room is like what i see above me at night. The room looks even bigger when i open my eyes! Even New Adam and Chairground seem shocked.

“Aizilina, the room looks lonely,” says Chairground. Chairground is used to more people because it was born with lots of people around.

i feel sorry for Chairground and make a few spots of white and blue and red and o-range. They look okay now because they are not everywhere. i do not like them to be everywhere because they are very imposing.